Self-acceptance and coming to terms with your feelings are the first order of business in transition. If you are not emotionally grounded from the onset, you are going to have a difficult transition. Transition is a minor issue in comparison to self-acceptance.
Many transsexual women face harassment and ridicule, sometimes even since childhood, because of what society considers inappropriate gender behavior. To distance ourselves from this, we sometimes take self-loathing to extremes like substance abuse or even suicidal tendencies. In lesser cases, we may just place ourselves in a "gender hell" of our own making-- by doing things expected of men like marriage, children, or hyper-masculine activities and occupations.
As we come to terms with how we feel and what needs to be done about it, our self-esteem can take a huge beating. Why did I wait so long? How will I deal with getting out of my male existence? Is this really going to make me happier?
These aren't easy questions. Add to that the fact that most of society is not that accepting of transsexual women. Early attempts at exploring one's femininity can range anywhere from freeing to devastating. You may face the anger of loved ones, coworkers, even strangers.
All of this can wreak havoc on your self-esteem. It's hard to stand tall when you're being beaten down by others. But the worst thing is that many of us end up being our own worst critics.
It's vital to have self-acceptance to get through transition and beyond. There are many ways to improve this-- think about all the worthwhile things about you. Sometimes you may need the validation of a therapist, friend, support group, job, etc. Perhaps you can do it on your own. However you can get there, get your self-esteem firmly implanted in your head. Ultimately, only you can feel good about you. It's all up to you.
No comments:
Post a Comment